Where Are You?

Me: ‘I’m on a felucca on the Nile. They’re having trouble getting the stove working for tea and the captain’s slapping a lot of heads. I’ve been asking if they’ve washed the fruit in clean water but they’re cracking on that they don’t understand. ‘

Maude: ‘Where are you really?’

Me: ‘Lidl’

Where Are You?

Me: ‘Well I’m actually abseiling down the east face of the Palace of Westminster. Got a great view of the London Eye and the police are waving. I met these really nice guys from ‘Fathers for Justice’ in the pub and, well, we got talking and it would have been churlish not to join in after that.’

Maude: ‘Where are you really?’

Me: ‘I’m on the A1, near Washington Services.’