Subframe issue

When we lived in Ryton - before the children - I read a Guardian article about gymless exercise. It featured a book called 'Combat Conditioning ' by the brilliantly named Matt Furey. I thought this sounded like a manual for my married life, so I bought the book. I did the exercises, used a punchbag and started running along the bank of the river on which my daughters now row. I was as fit as a flea.

I saw a video on YouTube a couple of months ago that brought back memories of that time. Some South Asian wrestlers were doing hindu pushups - the dand - as part of their training routine. The dand features prominently in 'Combat Conditioning' and I took this as a sign that I should give them another go. Also, my car had developed a fatal subframe issue* that meant it had been scrapped and I couldn't get to the gym.

A routine of 30-35 dands a day strengthened my subframe remarkably and saw me through the winter. Our friends Jim and Wendy called round for cocktails when my enthusiasm for 'Combat Conditioning ' was at its peak. Jim's text afterwards captured the evening's mood:

"Thank you for having us, your company was quite intoxicating. I particularly enjoyed the repressive Handmaid's Tale stories from Maude’s youth, which explain a lot, and, of course John’s startling Asian press ups."

I'm only just returning to the company of surly teenagers and middle-aged bigots at the gym.

*I wouldn't dream of suggesting that Maude occasionally commuting over speedbumps to Sunderland with her substantial carshare buddy hastened the decline in roadworthiness of my relatively low mileage Toyota Aygo.